Page 1 of 1

Confession time.

Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 10:16 am
by Darlo_Pete
Many years ago I used to listen to Radio 1 and on an afternoon they used to have a confession spot, I think it might have been on Steve Wright's show, but not sure.

I heard a couple of great confessions that have always stuck in the mind. Perhaps you might to confess your sins on here?

The first confession involved York Railway Station. A lady used to be a sales assistant in the cafeteria and she used to get fed up with train drivers coming in and blagging a pint of milk for the staff canteen. So she got some milk of magnesia (a laxative) and emptied a pint of milk and replaced it with the milk of magnesia, this was the days when you used to get milk in pint bottles. Sure enough the driver came in and she handed him the doctured bottle. Later that day British Rail had to apologise to train travellers, as trains had to be cancelled in the York area, due to a bout of unexplained staff sickness in and around the York area.

The second one, was a bloke who worked for a plant construction company that employed 300 people. The company was struggling and then they secured a Japanese order that would safeguard all their jobs. The bloke had 2 young boys and when he was driving them around he used to make high pitched car engine rev noises, especially when he was accelerating. Anyway the Japanese delegation was due to sign the order at this blokes plant and he was asked to go and pick them up from the airport. As he was approaching the plant, he realised that the whole journey he had been making these high pitched car engine rev noises. The Japanese rightly thought this blose who represented this company was bonkers, so when they got to the plant, they said they had changed their minds and wouldn't sign the order. As a result the company went bust and 300 people lost their jobs.

I will also confess to something horrific I did many years ago in a later post!!

Re: Confession time.

Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 2:02 pm
by theoriginalfatcat
Darlo_Pete ... I'll beat you to it - here is a quote from you @ April 2011 :D

"Many years ago I introduced a former girlfriend to golf at my old club at Barney. I used to give her a stroke or two on every hole, but she never once beat me."


B.T.W. confessions are still on/Simon Mayo.

Re: Confession time.

Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 2:16 pm
by Darlogramps
Darlo_Pete wrote: I will also confess to something horrific I did many years ago in a later post!!
Oooh let me guess. Did you set up a divisive competition where you counted the number of posts people made on a messageboard? :D

Re: Confession time.

Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 7:58 pm
by Darlo_Pete
Nope none of the above. Didn't realise it was still on, perhaps some of the better one's could be posted on here, for our amusement.

Re: Confession time.

Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 12:05 pm
by OHDFC
As an attention-seeking Big Girl's Blouse I once wished for hundreds of innocent holidaymakers to be killed and injured in a terrorist incident so that my travel agent would give me a holiday in a different country without costing me any money

Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk

Re: Confession time.

Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 12:57 pm
by Spyman
OHDFC wrote:As an attention-seeking Big Girl's Blouse I once wished for hundreds of innocent holidaymakers to be killed and injured in a terrorist incident so that my travel agent would give me a holiday in a different country without costing me any money

Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk
:lol:

Re: Confession time.

Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 3:20 pm
by Darlo_H
I once had to ask for help on an online football forum with the arduous task of finding the moon.

Re: Confession time.

Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:24 am
by Darlo_Pete
Darlo_H wrote:I once had to ask for help on an online football forum with the arduous task of finding the moon.
What can I say, it was a foggy night!!

Re: Confession time.

Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:27 pm
by Darlo_Pete
Ok so in 1975 or 76 we had some fantastic summers. As I lived in the country my parents house was besieged with little black corn flies, that seemed to get everywhere. One hot evening I had had enough, so I opened my window wide open, left the light on and then I shut the bedroom door. A few hours later I went back and the room was full of thousands and thousands of flies, moths, wasps, etc. I shut my bedroom door and closed the window and sprayed fly killer all over the room. Went back an hour or so later and there was carnage as everything was dead, what a mess.

Does this count as mass murder? It made me feel a lot better though.

Re: Confession time.

Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2017 11:55 am
by bertbanger
i once killed Osama Bin Laden in an accidental speedboat incident on holiday in Torremolinos, the US government found out and covered the whole thing up by pretending theu hunted him down in Abbottabad!!